You Too Can A Tennessee Titan!

At most jobs you are required to have certain skills sets or various other things. There is one job, however, that it is required not to have certain things. This wonderful job I'm talking about is, of course, being a quarterback on the Tennessee Titans. There is only one real requirement for this job, and that's the ability to throw in the general direction of men who can't catch. If you can do that, you could very well climb up the Titan's depth chart and soon be starting!

Your biggest competitor is pretty obvious. Current starting Titans quarterback Vince Young. He can throw the ball fairly far, and his main asset is his ability to just win games. If you somehow make it on the Titans roster, you need to tell coach Jeff Fisher that you too can win games. Now the best way to beat out Vince Young is by simply out smarting him. You see, Vince Young was born without a brain. On top of his lack of a cerebellum, Vince Young is apparently a fan of Morrisey. When you're trying to over take Young on the depth chart, all you really need to do is tell him Morrisey is coming to town on Thursday.

Now that Vince Young is out of the picture, your next line of competition is an wily old Penn State veteran. Kerry Collins is capable of throwing the ball quite far as well. It would be quite hard to beat out his arm strength. Trying to out throw Collins won't win you the job. The best way to beat out Collins is pretty simple, considering Kerry Collins was born without a liver. A few shots of whiskey will do the trick here.

Now you just have one obstacle left on your way to being a starting NFL quarterback, and that's recently signed Chris Simms. Now Chris Simms had to have a surgery to remove his spleen after a game against the Panthers. So to beat out Chris Simms, all you have to do is tell him someone is donating a spleen to charity. After all that, you're the starter for the Titans!