darkzelgadis Blog Posts

You Too Can A Tennessee Titan

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:00:57 PDT

At most jobs you are required to have certain skills sets or various other things. There is one job, however, that it is required not to have certain things. This wonderful job I'm talking about is, of course, being a quarterback on the Tennessee Titans. There is only one real requirement for this job, and that's the ability to throw in the general direction of men who can't catch. If you can do that, you could very well climb up the Titan's depth chart and soon be starting!

Your biggest competitor is pretty obvious. Current starting Titans quarterback Vince Young. He can throw the ball fairly far, and his main asset is his ability to just win games. If you somehow make it on the Titans roster, you need to tell coach Jeff Fisher that you too can win games. Now the best way to beat out Vince Young is by simply out smarting him. You see, Vince Young was born without a brain. On top of his lack of a cerebellum, Vince Young is apparently a fan of Morrisey. When you're trying to over take Young on the depth chart, all you really need to do is tell him Morrisey is coming to town on Thursday.

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Tom Bradys shoulder is probable no more

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:36:52 PDT

I don't know how many of you guys remember, but Tom Brady has had a problem for a while. For the past four years, Tom Brady has been listed on the injury report as probable. Apparently, Brady has had a shoulder injury for the past four years. The cause of this injury is unknown, but it is perhaps due to excess winning. Well thankfully, Tom Brady's shoulder injury has finally been cured! Now you all might be asking, how did Brady recover from his injury? MILF hunter and part time New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick has informed me that Brady's injury was cured quite simply. "For the past seven months I've been yelling at Tom Brady's shoulder. I told it to get it's act together for losing the biggest game of it's life."

Tom Brady's shoulder had this to say about

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The Rebranding Of The Raiders

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:05:04 PDT

As a Raider fan, I'm sure we've all heard the Autumn Wind poem. Now I've always liked the Raiders image, but lately they don't seem to be fitting that image very well. That's where I come in. I've decided to come up with an idea to rebrand the Oakland Raiders to fit with the times. I wrote the poem for the Raiders new image and it's titled The Winter Wind. The poem is set to this Beck song

The Winter Wind
The Winter Wind is a Buccaneer
Blustering in from Tampa, Florida
With a careful instruction
He informs his mates cursing loudly
His face is distorted in a scowl
He wears a red shirt
With his headpeace about his head
And a highlight reel of Brett Favre in his hands
He growls as he storms the sidelines

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